NEWS

Dealing with the empty nest

May is a time of graduation. May is a time that final wedding plans are made. May, for many fathers, is a month of preparation for dramatic change in their lives. In addition to major events like just mentioned, there are other decisions that may affect families as well.

According to the National Center for Educational Statistics, about 3.3 million students are expected to graduate from high school in 2015. Additionally there will be approximately 2.2 million weddings this year according to private research company, Demographic Intelligence. This all adds up to change in a father's role within these settings.

When our children were learning to ride a bicycle, they were very adamant that we hold on to the back of the bike so that they would not fall off. We all trailed behind, holding the bike steady as our little riders gained confidence. Sooner or later, our children let us know that we could in fact let go; that they could handle this on their own. When we made that decision to let go, some of our kids wobbled and fell, while some rode off steadily, and have not looked back.

For many, the time has fast forwarded to May 2015, and with pending change, it's time for us to let go once again. Whether children leave to go to college, get married, pursue the job market, or pursue a military career, this is a time when we must accept our children are riding off into their own future. In turn, just as when our kids first rode their bike, the transition of this departure can in turn make parents feel shaky as well.

It is often at this time when we begin to reflect and ask where did time go? We begin to realize we may have missed some school functions, family time, and more. It happens more often than we realize, or would like to admit. Having now sent your kid off to either marriage, college or career, we face some incredible change.

Mental health professionals have long recognized something they call empty nest syndrome. These are the feelings of sadness, loss, role adjustment, fear and changing relationships that happen when a mother and father send their child out on their own. Generally this was more recognized in mothers, as many fathers didn’t outwardly demonstrate their emotions. But with the higher involvement of today’s fathers, with the positive societal impact that has stressed the importance of dads in their children's lives, parting with our children can also bring some difficulties to dad as well.

So what can we do? Fathers, and parents in general, should use the opportunity to reassess their lives. Take advantage of the slowdown, rediscover marriage, concentrate on getting in shape or entertaining more. The possibilities are endless when your responsibilities shift.

Monthly Quote:

“Being a father has been, without a doubt, my greatest source of achievement, pride and inspiration. Fatherhood has taught me about unconditional love, reinforced the importance of giving back and taught me how to be a better person.” Naveen Jain

Monthly Challenge:

Facing the reality of being some type of empty nester? Heed the advice of Dr. Phil

Dr. Phil's Top Five Quick Fixes, from www.drphil.com/articles/article/105

•Stop being morbid

•Stop lying in bed

•Stop crying

•Stop calling your child every five minutes

•Start doing the things that uou want to do!

Frank Polen is the principal of Warsaw Elementary School and a member of the Coshocton Fatherhood Initiative.