Unsung helper, father honored in Elmore

ELMORE — It never bothered Tom Miller to do the unsung work of a behind-the-scenes man.

He often served as the unseen helper on big community projects. He was happy running errands and stuffing envelopes when his wife, Betty Marlow Miller, was working toward obtaining grant money to restore the village’s historic depot or organizing a senior citizen center.

When Tom died on March 27, his stepson, Barry Marlow, wanted to make sure Tom’s legacy in the community was remembered. Marlow and his wife, Liat, purchased a memorial plaque that was installed near the Elmore Historical Barn and dedicated during a ceremony on Aug. 17.

Although Marlow may be Tom’s stepson, he said that Tom was not his stepfather. He was much more than that.

“We never used the word stepdad,” Marlow said. “He wasn’t my stepdad, he was my bonus dad.”

Marlow welcomed Tom into the family with open arms when Tom married his mother 20 years ago. Marlow’s father had died, and he didn’t want his mother left alone.

“My dad had passed away back in 1994. My mom was way too young not to have somebody to spend time with,” he said.

Tom and Betty’s courtship started the same way it often continued throughout their marriage — with Tom being an enthusiast helper. After Betty’s husband died, she dove into volunteer work at the Wood County Historical Museum, promising them a five-year commitment to get some projects off the ground.

She and Tom felt an immediate connection after they were introduced by Tom’s grandson Paul Dupler Sr. and Betty’s friend, Milly Dierker, but there was a snag — Betty was too busy at the historical society for a courtship.

That didn’t stop Tom. He jumped in and volunteered, giving museum tours and helping Betty with projects.

“I gave him my schedule, and he would help me. We hit it right off and got married three months later. It lasted 20 years,” she said.

When Tom and Betty got married in 1995, he didn’t just become her husband, but he also became her grown children’s second father.

“I had a dad that was wonderful, and then I lucked out and had another wonderful dad for 20 years,” Marlow said. “I liked model trains, and Tom liked model trains. I liked flying, and Tom liked flying. But probably the biggest thing was he loved my mom. He took care of my mom, and she was happy. What more could a son ask for?”

Tom grew up in Woodville and lived in Elmore since 1989. He was a member of the Elmore Historical Society and a member of the Portage Valley Flying Club. He also taught line dancing classes for 10 years, quitting only a few years ago.

When Betty was working to obtain grant money to restore the train depot in Elmore, Tom did whatever he could to help out.

“He was an unnamed helper. He’d mail letters and do the running. He helped a lot,” she said.

Betty’s efforts to form Elmore’s Golden Oldies Senior Center were also successful in great part due to Tom’s help.

“I get credit for it, but there again he was behind the scenes. He did a lot,” Betty said.

One of Tom’s greatest loves was flying. He served over three years in the Army Air Corps during World War II. He spent part of that time in Greenland, running a radio direction station for pilots. As a civilian, he accumulated more than 50 years of flying various aircraft, and he built, tested and flew his own aircraft, called a “Teenie-Two.”

His love of flying inspired the family to put an engraving of an airplane on Tom’s memorial plaque, and it also influenced their choice of tree under which the plaque was placed.

“When Barry’s son came over to pick out a tree, he chose the red maple, because Tom’s airplanes were always red and white,” said Rick Claar, a village councilman who was instrumental in helping get the plaque purchased and installed.

“Tom and Betty were both super volunteers. Tom knew how much volunteering meant to Betty, and they just always volunteered to do stuff,” Claar said. “They were always there for everybody.”